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Sunday, November 19

Preparing Your Body and Soul For Your Wedding

We all want to be healthy, fit, and happy. But when it comes to our wedding we want perfection. For this day we want to be fit and beautiful. For this one day, it has little to do with health, and a lot to do with size, shape, wedding gowns, and photography.  

Preparing your body:

Of course, eating healthy foods, getting proper exercise, and enough rest is the key to having a healthy body. If we lived in a perfect world where we were never stressed out, never exposed to co-workers who come to work with the flu, never had financial problems, and never faced grief, we could live in our sunny homes, eat well and be healthy.

That word does not exist. The easiest way to balance your health and deal with life is to follow the 90% - 10% rule. 90% of the time you eat healthy and incorporate physical activity into your schedule. You allow yourself a little room to mess up. 10% of the time you can say okay to an extra drink after work, or to skip the gym. But there is a price to pay. The price is an investment in your future.
Photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/action-active-activity-adult-386024/

Becoming a spouse:

When you are single, your 10% free time belongs to you. But, you are preparing for a wedding. That changes the dynamics of your world. The 10% time of stress release, downtime, and relaxation are now exercises in how you and your spouse will handle the problems you will face together, as a couple.
Don’t make the mistake of thinking this is not important. It is critical. Once you are united practice time is over. Real life sets in and the ground rules you set with your 10% allowance become 100% of the core values of your life.

Preparing the soul:

Forming your core values means you each have to reach deep inside and determine what is important to you, what is something you are willing to change and what are the deal breakers. Here is how you begin:

  • Learn to communicate:
    • This does not mean just talking to each other. You can talk for an hour but if you are not connecting and “hearing” your partner, you are not communicating. This is very hard to do, but once mastered you will be an unbeatable team. You will not always agree or always be happy. But you will always be a team. You will always support each other.
    • Get counseling from a professional to begin. A marriage counselor, minister, or clergyman will give you the tools you need to begin. This saves you a lot of frustration.
Photo credit: https://www.pexels.com/photo/beautiful-cash-coins-girl-259250/

  • Make money decisions:
    • Money is the number one problem in marriages. Most couples find it easier to talk about a sexual problem than a financial one. But if you want to prepare your soul for marriage you have to face the dragon.
      • Who will pay the bills?
      • Is either of you a spend-thrift or a penny hoarder?
      • How much money will you allow for non-essentials?
      • How will you make major purchases?
    • Keep in mind that agreeing on finances will change over time. As your careers grow and your income increases, the rules no longer fit. If children are born, that changes everything. Finally, the person who was designated as the keeper of the bank account may get tired of the responsibility. You have to be willing to develop your financial health in order to keep your marriage healthy.

Finally, understand that love is a verb. It is something you do, not something you fall in. There will be times when what you feel is not even close to what you think love feels like. It doesn’t matter. You actively love each other. You treat each other with respect. You speak kindly to each other you do things to make your partner's life easier. These are actions of love. If you practice this, I promise you that one day you will realize that your love is stronger than you could ever have imagined. That is when you reap the reward of a healthy marital body, mind, and soul.

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